Archive for January, 2016

Abundant Nothing

Monday, January 11th, 2016

You’ve heard the phrase “What do you get the man who has everything?”

I guess the corollary to that is, “What do you get the man who has Nothing?” I mean a person who enjoys doing Nothing (aka reading, eating, taking long walks, napping, etc.). In other words, relaxing. (Wanting for nothing is, of course, a luxury in this world.) What do you get for someone who enjoys a slow-paced life?

You make sure he gets more Nothing, I suppose.

What did I do today? Nothing. I read. I ate. I napped. (My version of “Veni, vidi, vici”.)

Adventures will be had, but first I just want to sit around and catch up on some writing, which involves taking a lot of breaks and indulging a lot of distractions. (I also want to catch up on sleep and enjoy my worry-free days.) Having spent the last 3-4 months under the pressure of deadlines, I am enjoying doing things slowly. I am acclimating to the newness-of-it-all, slowly. Part of me wants to be fluent in Thai as of yesterday, but I really don’t need to hurry.

Finally I have Abundant Nothing and Infinite Time.

Let’s Get A Few Things Out Of The Way Now

Sunday, January 10th, 2016
Thailand for you.

Thailand for you.

Yes. There are lady boys for “hire” here. I also saw one lady middle-aged-man and one lady dog. (The dog had giant teats and balls.) There are many little bars, one next to the other, in the alleys, with women and lady boys holding printed signs that say “Hand Job Blow Job Boom Boom”. I haven’t seen a single sign printing shop, but I figure those shop owners either worked themselves to death or made millions and are now retired in Orlando, FL.

Yes. The food is great and ridiculously cheap. There’s no point to shopping/cooking for myself when delicious, filling meals are only US$4. I feel a little guilty, like I’m getting away with something. But I also feel rich, in that money is not something one needs to think about anymore.

At age 46 I may be the youngest male expat in Pattaya. Most of the expat men I see appear older than 60 and have a younger woman or lady boy walking alongside them, holding hands.

Yes. I will continue to find Engrish funny.

So, now that I’ve established that all the things I’ve heard about Thailand actually exist, I can move on to other things.

A Quick How And Why That Doesn’t Tell You Enough

Saturday, January 9th, 2016

“Hey Ori. How did you not have a job since 2009 and are still able to go to Thailand. And why Thailand?”

Well, what I think I am is a slacker-philosopher, but I bet many folks see me as an unemployed bad-joke teller. If you’re wondering what I do for $$ that allows me to travel, well that involved a bit of luck and using that luck to set myself up for long term travel. The luck being finding a cheap house I could pay off quickly and fix up for rental income. Anyhoo, Thailand just happened to be the first place I landed because I have a friend who lives here. I’m roaming around SE Asia for a few years mainly to avoid working, but also to see the planet before it closes. In 1997 I went to S. America for about 2 years, also to roam around and explore and live by my whims. So hey, at least the slacker part is true.

The Flights To Bangkok

Saturday, January 9th, 2016

So yeah. I’m here, in Bangkok, Thailand. You could say it took 40 hours (of being more or less awake) to get here, or four months of gremlin-like multiplying house projects, or 16 years (since I came back from my 2-year whimsical frolic in South America). But dammit, I finally fucking made it!!

I flew to Bangkok in two planes. (Not at the same time, silly.) I flew from Houston to Heathrow and then, 5 hours later, to Bangkok. Modern technology, in the form of on-demand movies and beef bourguignon, helped those flights pass quickly enough. Even the 4-time vomiting child in the row in front of me did not, luckily, dampen my spirits.

I had hoped to visit London friends during the 5-hour layover, but now I see that that length of time would not have been enough, especially considering that I had to track down my baggage and ask the super-nice-and-helpful Thai Airways lady to ensure that under no circumstances was that baggage to accompany me on my flight. No siree.

An aside: the color scheme inside the Thai Airways plane is pink and and purple, which might be turned into a womb/vagina analogy, which could mean that I was birthed into Thailand.

Anyhoo, I arrived in Bangkok at 6am and headed straight for the Amarillo Stockyards. Once I’d been stamped and branded I ambled over to baggage claim to see whether my backpack had gotten an aisle or a window seat. “Not to worry,” I was told with a smile. And lo, they actually delivered my backpack to Kai’s Uncle’s apartment, which is where I’m staying and which is 2 hours south of Bangkok, about 15 hours after I landed. Now *that* is service.

While waiting for the 10am bus to Pattaya, I met a man named Tony from, I kid you not, Orlando, FL. (Tony Orlando) He and I chatted for about 30 minutes. I was quite groggy at this point, but I’m pretty sure that all he does is go from airport to airport just to enjoy the layovers between his flights.


Waiting to pass through Immigration at Bangkok Suvarnabhumi Airport.

The Dream (or The Quest, or The Folly, etc.) has begun. The first thing I’m gonna do is sleep for two days.

A Bit Of A Delay

Friday, January 8th, 2016

I postponed my flight to SE Asia by about a month. My new flight is on January 6th, 2016. I had to postpone because the house preparation just wasn’t done. During this time I learned 1) preparing a house for me to live in and for rental are two different things; and 2) the ever present lesson of Letting Go.

I had very generous help in completing the projects from many friends, even after I “went into hiding”. I kept a low profile to avoid answering the “Why are you still here?” question 500 times and to concentrate on finishing the house.